Uncle (Master Sergeant) Billy Bob Sitton 3

A new beginning in a few ways today, 7-28-2005! Shuttle Discovery took off today, looks great so far! 2 years and about 5 months after the Columbia accident. Yes, bittersweet Discoveries today. This after an answering machine message from Aunt Jeansie yesterday that would rule me thereafter like never before.

A lame baby grackle, fallen from nest, is in the driveway outside my office window this morning; this young bird can't live much longer. Spoke with Bonnie again today, 7-27-2005. That appears to be William M. Manion, died April 22, 1997. She confirmed with the service number. She's sending me an application for his archival records. I'd rather Uncle Bill see for himself. But I want to know where he's buried. Maybe these records will help. Maybe a phone call at night to some strangers in Minnesota will too. Uncle Bill has probably been ready for a Minnesota trip. Godspeed to him and Aunt Jeansie!

I asked Bonnie for her full name. She wouldn't give it. Such a wonderful person! She did know - yesterday. I hope I can tell her the story someday.

Called Uncle Bill back and told him this night. Such mixed feelings here! I'm so honored to help Uncle Bill with this, and so honored he asked me to. I really appreciate him and love him. Yet I gave him this news: Confirmed, his buddy was gone. I want this to be right so badly. I want his buddy to be visiting with him right now! I'd stand on my head to listen to what they said. I sure need the guidance!

I don't want to go to the MASE protest tonight. Not after this. I'm afraid of my anger. I'll go. I'm so angry about this! THIS ANGERS ME! Here I am telling my Uncle Bill his wounded buddy is gone forever, and these ridiculous people are taking baseball bats to others of different skin color!

Still 7-28-2005

Got through MASE rally just fine. It was somber though. What a burden! He is gone, William M. Manion. This is a wound that will not heal. I feel sick to my stomach. Like I can't even write. I have to. Is this what Uncle Bill felt like in 1952? Was Punch Bowl like this: no worries but that you live the next minute? Are these sympathy pangs? Is there still some shellshock going on? Deep anger? Just a heavy, heavy load? This doesn't feel good at all. So many questions. I want to answer them, but - it's just not clear "here". There's a war in my head, and it's hell! Korea? My God - Uncle Bill!

Uncle Bill asked me last night if I thought it would be alright to send pictures to the family. WOW! How do you answer that? He's asking ME if I thought it would be OK to send pictures to Mr. Manion's family?! I don't want war. Anyone around me knows this. And he wants it less than I do! He doesn't want to hurt so much as a person's feelings! What a range for one human being: "split in two" one person with a rifle, yet be sensitive to the feelings of another! I guess I'll never know how.

I'll find William's family and where he's buried.